........."Dick, your resume reads like a who's who of .......uh.....well, I have it right here:  four movies, one cameo, Eight Is Enough.  Wow!  But you know Dick, your career really took off with the advent of the infomercial.  What does this kind of advertising mean to you?"......."Well, John, doing these commercials is not as easy as you might thi"............."Yeah, Ok Dick, Thanks......Right now let's take a phone call in our 'What Are Your Ideas' segment".

.........."Tom, who do we have on the Phone?"......"Laura Bush, John" ...............

"Laura Bush?......What......ok...ok....Holy Cow!.......this is pretty big ......... ....Hello Mrs. Bush"........"Mrs. Who?.....This is Tony Horowitz from White Plaines, Indiana".
(Tom is cracking up, fast walking toward his office).
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(ridiculously long delay)

 

.........."Ok......whewwww.....mmmmmmm, right.....count to ten John - one, two, three, fo.......Hi Tony,  Sorry for the confusion there;  but, as you know, I have Dick Van Patten right next to me here in the news room.  Say hi to Tony".... ...."Hi Tony"........."Hi Dick;  I have really enjoyed watching you over the years.  I especially liked the way that, at the beginning of each episode you would trip over the foot stool .........That just killed me every time".    "I think you're talking about Dick Van Dyke, Tony"............"Ahww......dude.........sorry!  Anyways John, I gotta ask you a question about the Edgarball Dung Sticker"....."Indeed, go ahead Tony".

"Well, if there was originally 13 pounds of dung on the Sticker and when it was stolen it weighed 180 pounds, then wouldn't that mean that the Sticker itself weighs 167 pounds?"............."Ohhkay Tony...right"...."Well, if so, then how is it that Barney Rubble is able to walk around carrying a 167 pound slab of rock in one hand as if it was an empty shoe box?"

 (slight delay).........."you know Tony, that's a cartoon.  Dogs that walk straight up on two feet are able to quote Shakespeare in cartoons......I don't know.  If Tom were here I'd ask him but he's out having his private parts waxed.....DICK, any ideas for Tony?"........."Uh....no....no John....haven't got the slightest". 

 "If you want to contribute to the 'What Are Your Ideas' segment, please send your questions and comments to jorther@cinci.rr.com

 

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What are people saying about the multi-colored and various types of Stickers that are being seen around town? 

... Ms. Condolisa CoosCoos-Handel-Mackey of Bridgeport, Wyoming writes....."I am a Professor of Anthropology at the University of Mississippi at Buffalo.  To be honest, I couldn't care less about the multi-colored and various types of Stickers in the World today.  Who cares!  I would invite the reader to look back at the first article in this series.  It begins with what the editor calls a theme song.  The fourth verse reads:

Stickers -  sending off my rubbish can
corny, funny, little Stickers
for the garbage man.

It is obvious that the 'Garbage Man' referred to in the little ditty is Black.  I would ask the editor if he thinks that the 'Oppressed Black Man' can only read the 'corny, funny, little Stickers' but is unable to purchase them cause he has limited education and a less than average pay?  This is a discrimination at every level.  This type of bigotry will set Affirmative Action back 20 years.  And, by the way, If the town of Bedrock had actually existed it would have been more like 7015 or 7016 B.C not 7012 B.C. "  (The foregoing comments do not necessarily reflect the political views of StickerNewz).

Next time I want to talk to Dr. Fabian X. Zeenwater about the new Sticker Diet.

okay thanks