Somehow the score seems to be getting closer, I don't know. But, Hi people. I'd like to welcome you to the StickerNewz Report RIGHT NOW! We are going to continue the recorded Bridge game at the Maynerd's home involving our favorite idiot, Irv. I don't think he would mind me calling him an idiot especially since he is one. Irv and I go way back. When we were kids he used to build gigantic model ships using more than enough glue, float them in the pond, put M-80's on them and light a 3 foot underwater fuse. Then he would have Sally come over to the ship while the fuse was burning and ask her if she could find the Paudmaker on it. The ship would then explode causing Sally's face to turn a sort of charcoal color and then the ship would burn on the pond for three days. Inevitably Sally would ask, "What's a Paudmaker"? We then busted up laughing for at least a year and a half. But anyhow, after this short commercial break on our non-profit station, we will be right back with more of Irv:

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Are you kiddin me?  Well, now I want to go to the Maynerd's and hear more of the Bridge Game conversation:

"...no Irv, you answer the door!" "I'm gonna count to four Maynerd and in that time you better find time to get yer ass up and get the door. One. ...two....thaaaareeee.."
"Ok, ok Irv, don't get yer panties in a megaspin; I'll get it"
 
(Percy walks over to the front door and opens it. At the door is Irv's son, Malcom. Irv has not seen his son since 1968 when Malcom dodged the Vietnam War draft. He has spent the last 36 years in Ontario as a Sticker, Label and Decal salesman).

"Hi dad"...."

"Whadda you want?"

"I just want to tell you one thing dad. It's gonna be a song about how you are"

(Sung by Malcom to the tune of Franz Schubert's Symphony #3 in e-minor; opus 64):

There's a story that my daddy tells, it's a story all about the way things used to be.
Well I'd just roll my eyes and make a bee-line for the door.
But I'd always wind up starry-eyed, cross-legged on the porch outside,
Hanging on to every word my daddy'd say.

It was harder times and longer days, five miles to school, uphill both ways
We were cane switch raised, and dirt floor poor that's ok.
'Course that was back before the war; yeah, Chester and I made quite a pair
Flying Fortresses soaring through the air. The enemy close at hand,
And so I'd say:

"That's something to be proud of. That's a life you can hang your hat on
That's a chin held high as the tears fall down, a gut sucked in, and a chest stuck out
Like a small town flag a-flyin' in the wind. Or a newborn baby cryin' in the arms of the woman that you love
That's something to be proud of every day. That's something to be proud of every day.

So I got up off the cold ground and I go back in the screen door and I
Look at my daddy and I find the words to say:
That's something to be proud of. That's a life you can hang your hat on
You don't need to make a million, just be thankful to be workin'.
If you're doing what you're able and putting food there on the table
and providing for the family that you love, that's something to be proud of.
That's something to be proud of every day."

Never before, but now, a tear fell from the eye of Irv.

Ok, thanks