And now, on with the show:

WARNING!  Do not allow the kids to read this article as it is a bit racy,   (Why do they call it "racy"?  This article isn't going to run a marathon.  Nor is this article going to take a political stand on bigotry).  Anywho, just beware of the content of today's StickerNewz Report segment.  Actually, it is no more racy than the "R" rated DVD that you will rent tonite and sort of forget that the kid's are WATCHING it right along with you.  Some of you are probly saying to yourselves, "Selves, why doesn't this maroon tell us more about Irv?"  Well, just hold yer chicken feathers together, keep yer feet inside the vehicle, take a deep breath and shut up!   More of Irv is in development and will be presented real soon.  And, by the way, I don't really relish being referred to as a maroon!  We'll be right back after this:

YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE STICKERNEWZ REPORT FOR THIS THURSDAY, JUNE 23, 2005 ON RADIO FREE EUROPE AND A HANDFUL OF HAM RADIOS OUT OF QUEBEC

What the?  And why do they call it a "Ham Radio"  Nobody's gonna serve a mechanical device for Xmas dinner are they?

The following Rated "R" installment is purely historical and does, in no way, reflect the views of the StickerNewz, Co. Inc.

In AD 439 Atilla the Hun was intent on conquering the World.  In actuality he only conquered an area about the size of a small airport.   But that is neither here nor there and what not.  One day in July of that same year Atilla and his 4,000 barbarian troops needed to pass thru a certain valley in the Ukraine on their way to Bombay where Atilla was planning on taking a shower.   Unbeknownced to Atilla this valley, today known as The Valley of the Dolls, was inhabited by a tribe of women.  These 600 women made up the Ying Tribe.  Each member was gorgeous and extremely sexy.

As was his custom,  Atilla sent out seven warrior scouts into the valley to assess the situation.   When the seven fearless men looked upon the women they stood in awe. Twenty or so of the girls began to dance around the troops removing bits of their clothing as they danced.   When the soldiers became ERECT a group of sabre wielding women cut off all seven penises.   The troops ran for the hills screaming in terror and big pain.

After 48 hours Atilla sent 300 troops to locate the seven.   The same process took place to the 300 exactly as it was done to the seven.   Next, Atilla sent out 3,000 men with the same results.   After three days and with no men left,  Atilla threw up his hands in disbelief and returned to his airport kingdom and settled down with his wife Atillia and their seven boys.   He was never heard from again.  But back to the Ying Women.