IRV 4:
THE BRIDGE 3
John Andrew Orther
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May 24
, 2005 |
Today we want to discuss Dull and Bright Silver Foil. Wait a minute! What? Owwwwow.....sorry bout that. Today we're going to return to the Maynerd's home for the third installment of the April 28th bridge game between the Maynerd's and the Dempsky's. Irv's war stories are the talk of the town. We'll return to that discussion right after this. I'm John Andrew Orther and you're listening to the StickerNewz Report for this 24th day of May, 2005:
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Let me set the stage for our newcomers. Irv Dempsky is the owner of the RV dealership seen above. His wife, Matilda, is his wife. The Maynerd's are Tangeria and Percy. They live on the same block as Irv.
Irv has a colorful war record, one with which he is proud of and can't wait to tell over and over. (And over) Some of these stories may be embellished a bit but who cares. It is in the telling that we are entertained. StickerNewz hired a detective to plant a listening device under the card table, the kind that Bogart used in his flicks, and record as much of the conversations as possible. Here we go with more of that nite about a month ago:
"......yeah Irv, the guy just said that you embellish yer stories some"..
......"What guy, and what's embellish?........Maynerd, yer on drugs".. ....... "A course I'm on drugs but look at the ad for yer RV shop just above the last paragraph"........"What the hell are you talkin about Percy? I don't.......what ad?, what paragraph? What the hell are you talkin about MayNORD?"..............(the four of them are sitting around a card table at this time drinking hard liquor and getting rip snortin')...
........."After serving for the first year of the war in the Pacific I was ordered to the European Theater of Operations. Now it was the Kraut's turn to take on Irving Dempsky. They're all the same to me, Nip - Kraut, Kraut - Nip, I don't give a damn."....."Hey Irv, 'Kraut - Nip' sounds like some sorta German cat toy or somethin' you dip cauliflower in or"......."Who's tellin this Maynerd?........sowz anywho, George S. meets me at the Nipoli Airport, right, and instructs me that the war is near a crucial turning point and that I was needed to strategerize a secret plan to crumble the Third Reich. That secret plan was so secret, in fact, that I am still not allowed to divulge it with you or anyone else and what not"........."Bet ya will Irv".. ........"Maynerd will you just daaaaah..........sowz anyhow here's how the secret invasion plan worked. It worked like this: Uh, three no trump, dear...........it worked like this": (Irv's wife speaks) "Irv, may I just interject something here? Oh Tangeria, did you see the huge sale going on down at the Brussels? They have the darlingest little statuettes made out of ivory and linen. One of them has a bobble head of George Goble. I was flabergasted.....then"........"Look gorgeous, there's a time and place for yer meaningless jabber and this doesn't happen to be one a those times and what not. Sowz without any further interruptions from any of the peanut gallery here I will proceed with the top secret plans to do away with the German hierarchy. The plan worked liked this": (Percy speaks) "Hey Irv, you just said 'higherarky', 'hiyerarckie', 'hierarchy'. Hey Irv, just what does 'highyerarky' mean? Can you be a little more specific as to the use and meaning of the word? Use it in a sentence like, 'Joseph you're going to be shaking hands with the Prince of Bulgaria today so remember to say hi yer archy when you greet him'"
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the intrusion but, ha ha ha ha, that stuff kills me. We're outta time hahah ha ha, and so, hah haha, we'll see you on the next StickerNewz Report when we'll be discussing ah haha hha ha haha ha, how to store permanent Stickers, Labels and decals so they don't corrupt. Ha! I'm John and remember ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahhhhhhhhhh,
okay thanks
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