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IRV 3: THE
BRIDGE 2
John Andrew
Orther
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April 31, 2005 |
The title sounds like a half-time score. Whatever! Anyhow folks, there was such a tremendous outpouring of encouragement following IRV 2 that we had to do at least one more episode. After a break to pay some of Max's bills we'll be back to listen to more of that exciting April 28th bridge game from the Maynard's house across the street:
Your listening to The StickerNewz Report -from the base station for many fine quality Sticker, Label and Decal Companies which support this broadcast. You can find these companies located on the left side of any StickerNewz article. Click on them for all your adhesive needs. Support also comes thru charitable grants from non-commercial, non-profit, advertisement free, high income, high pollution, high I hate yer guts businesses and the R.E. Casey Foundation who believe that Lester Goodfacie should be set free.
Huh? Who's Les......What?....I hate yer....what? ....Damn! It's gotta be a conspiracy! But anywho, Let's just sit back and enjoy this special time with one of our closest friends and supporters Irv Dempsky. Listen to this:
...."yeah but what the hell's stickin in my leg?"......"I'll look under the table Irv, hold on..........It looks like one a those spy bugs from an old Humphrey Bogart flick"......"Right Maynerd and monkeys will fly out yer ass when pigs fly"....."Huh?".........."Hey hon, you milkin' the cow to make those margarita's er what?.....hee hee that'll git a response Maynerd"........."Shut yer fly trap Irv"......"Told ya".
(about three minutes of silence except for the faint sound of a Dick Van Patten comedy eight track playing in the background).
We'll be right back after a pause for following:
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Now back to the Maynerd's:
"You like Van Patten, Maynerd?"......"I like, at the beginning of each episode he goes tumblin over that foot rest and..."........"Hold it, hold it, hold it, HOLD IT!!!.....that discount on the mini just became 22.5% APR MayNERD".....(Irv's wife speaks)...."Hon, don't be that way. Percy just got his movie stars mixed up. I liked Dick Van Patten in Mary Poppins, myself"....
....(dead air for about 28 seconds)
"Dead Air, dead air....lemme see, where did I hear that before?.... .hum
....Oh yeah, it was January of '41. The nips had just done in the Harbor and we were pissed. When I say we were pissed I do not use hyperbole. The Japs had printed up fliers and dropped them from Zero's all over the Canal Zone. Each flier had a tear off back that allowed us to stick them on any object. Tex Widdelfunker called em Stickers. I can't remember exactly what was written on em but it was somethin like, uh....three no trump dear..." "The stickers actually said, 'three no trump dear'?"......"25.5 APR Maynerd......anyways they said somethin like, 'you stupid gi joe get no help from cowboy and indian stupid gi joe. You stupid joe play baseball like girl. Lou Gehrig sissy and president can't walk stupid joe'".
"Sowz anyways me, Widdelfunker and Casper Nozelpratz, er 'Sarge', as we called him, rounded up as many of the fliers as we could and took a black Magic Marker (hey Mare put one a those registered trademarks right after "Marker" if possible) and crossed out Lou's name and wrote above it 'Emperor Hiro Hito'. At about 3 am. we crossed enemy lines and stuck hundreds of em all over their Zero's and bull dozer's."
"Oh honey, don't forget to tell the part about how you tripped over that tent stake and fell right on y......" "I might forget to tell the Maynerd's about the plate in yer head sweetie. That was not a fall. It was a calculated, strategic move on my Military part to fool the enemy".
"Hey Irv, just how did that 'fool the enemy'?"
"30%".
That's all the time we have for today's segment but, as you can tell, there's plenty more stuff to come. So join us next time. Till then, I'm John Andrew Orther.
Ok, thanks
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