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"It's Time For The
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Bullshit! Anyways, I want to continue with the illustration of the old lady and her unique style of applying Wedding Seals to onion rings. I'm like you. I'm thinking, "why doesn't she simply use warning labels instead of wedding seals?" Farley and I did a bit of research and found out that each and every warning label comes with it's own warning label. That label reads, "Warning Labels are for warning purposes only and may not be applied to onion rings". I think we need to do some more research. It's ironic that I can stick a label on a cat but not on an article of food. In certain countries cats are considered a gourmet luxury. So, wouldn't that make a cat an article of food? Certainly! The United States Constitution has a little print out known as the First Amendment. This small document allows for the application of any adhesive item to any non-adhesive item. An onion ring and a cat both fit into the above category. So, Mrs. Prendelvision, go ahead and knock yourself out with the onion ring thing. Just be advised that, if your cat should eat the stickered onion ring, StickerNewz and WeddingNewz cannot be responsible for the impending results (liable code 6894 of the Insecure Digestion Act of 1973, U.S. Code of Military Justice, Vol. V). What will probly happen Mrs. Prendelvision is that the cat, after chowing down on the mixed content dinner, will become ill and the next day take a big dump in the cat box. If you "inspect" the largest turd you will find the warning label. It will now read, "Warning: Ingestion of this item may cause severe nausea in cats". Next week I want to visit a standard downtown parking lot and count bumper stickers. Until then, I'm John Andrew Orther. Okay thanks |
The Evolution of Stickers
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