"It's Time For The Sticker Report: You Have The Answers
We're Still Trying To Figure Out What The Questions Are"

Stickers and Labels
BOB'S SCALPS PRICES!
John Andrew Orther

April 1 , 2005

 

We're gonna be right back after the following messages.  Stay with us.

 

ADVERTISEMENT

Hi friends, I'm Bob O'Malley, owner of Bob's Native American Collectibles in Glenparks.  Hasn't John been instructive in the proper use of mailing labels in this article? I keep trying to lick the already adhesive labels and it leaves a sad taste on my tongue for hours.

But that's neither here nor there and what not.   What I really want to do is to let you know about our once a year price slashing event.   How bout buy one pre-owned Tee-Pee get the second one for half price.  Amazing?  Well that's not all.  With baseball season just around the corner we're going to sell every Atlanta Brave and Cleveland Indian Bumper Sticker for .99 cents each,  or three for $4.00.  I'm insane!  I must wanna just go straight to the poor house without passing go and collecting two hundred dollars!  Somebody needs to shoot me! Speaking of shooting, why not get that special boy or girl one of our Xacto Streamlined Bows. I'm tellin ya, if Sitting Bull had this bow and arrow technology in 1879 the U.S. Congress would be made up of 535 Sioux right now!  The Xacto bow is 98% accurate at 300 yards.   This sale is going on right now and will continue thru April.  Come in and see our wide selection or contact us at support@bobsnativeamericancollectables.org  

Now back to the StickerNewz and John's enthralling lesson on the do's and don'ts of applying pressure sensitive labels to the cat.

 

 

You're listening to the advertising free StickerNewz Report on
member station WNAC FM 89.5 (Q-89) out of Freeport, Pascaluga County.  
This report is made possible by charitable grants from the High Pollution Industries of America who insist
that breathing is secondary

 

Bullshit!  Anyways, I want to continue with the illustration of the old lady and her unique style of applying Wedding Seals to onion rings.  I'm like you.  I'm thinking, "why doesn't she simply use warning labels instead of wedding seals?" 

Farley and I did a bit of research and found out that each and every warning label comes with it's own warning label.  That label reads, "Warning Labels are for warning purposes only and may not be applied to onion rings".  I think we need to do some more research.  It's ironic that I can stick a label on a cat but not on an article of food.  In certain countries cats are considered a gourmet luxury.  So, wouldn't that make a cat an article of food?  Certainly!  The United States Constitution has a little print out known as the First Amendment.  This small document allows for the application of any adhesive item to any non-adhesive item.  An onion ring and a cat both fit into the above category.  So,  Mrs. Prendelvision, go ahead and knock yourself out with the onion ring thing.  Just be advised that, if your cat should eat the stickered onion ring, StickerNewz and WeddingNewz cannot be responsible for the impending results (liable code 6894 of the Insecure Digestion Act of 1973, U.S. Code of Military Justice, Vol. V).   What will probly happen Mrs. Prendelvision is that the cat, after chowing down on the mixed content dinner, will become ill and the next day take a big dump in the cat box.  If you "inspect" the largest turd you will find the warning label.  It will now read, "Warning:  Ingestion of this item may cause severe nausea in cats". 

Next week I want to visit a standard downtown parking lot and count bumper stickers.  Until then, I'm John Andrew Orther.

 

Okay thanks

 

The Evolution of Stickers

The History of the Sticker

Headline news - August 15,2004

The Sticker News Testimonial Segment

A Commentary

More on the Evolution of Stickers

Dung Sticker Comes Home

Even More Sticker Evolution

Previews, commercials and boring stuff

Special Sticker Diet Show

Discussion With An Old Man

It's Our Anniversary

Soccer Moms Love StickerNewz

The Invention of . .

Win Free Money

A Nursing Home Revelation

The Bermuda Triangle

Why You Should Never Climb Pike's Peek

Looking Back on Some Past Articles

StickerNewz Giveaway_ FREE MONEY

My Two Favorite U.S. Presidents

The Plight of the American Red Man

Decal Manufacturers Deny Thermal . . .

A Spectacular Dream

A Letter From BRITTANY BROWN

QUICKSASSY

Bright Silver Stock

Advertise Your Band or Website on Stickers!!!

Just How Cheap Is Max?

War and Peace by Tolstoy

Hackerstickers - The Newest Craze

In Cold Blood On Ice

Bob Scalps Prices

The Quicksilver Messenger Service

Celestial Beings Sited!



Next Article

If you were offended by the above article, please reply to jorther@cinci.rr.com
All or part of this article may not be copied without express written consent.