Dear John and the entire StickerNewz family;
Okay, I just thought I'd drop you a line from my new home at the Neverland Ranch in California. Okay, like, Michael and the boys are all doing well.  Boy 17 is a mischievous little guy. Michael says he's a HANDFUL.  Like oh my gawd, my new job here is Officer in Charge of Michael's record company.  At this very moment I'm writing to you from inside the recording studio on the back lot of the Ranch.  The 26,000 square foot arena/studio is buzzing with commotion as Michael's new find "The Quicksassy Pony Blowers" are recording their debut album.  The Pony Blowers are a Retro/New Age/Alternative band out of Chicago.  None of the members look to be over 15. Anyway, like okay, the album is not yet titled but they are laying down track #7, a love ballad called, "Coffee, Lung and Snot".  OH MY GAWD, it sounds awesome!  Like okay John I gotta get going and boss some more people around.  Thanks for this super chance you have given me. 

love,
Brittany Brown

That was so weird!  Stay with us:

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WHAT?  Anywho, I have a question for you out there.  Have you ever taken the time to ask why the invention of the Warning Label?  Me neither.  But the Warning Label plays a pivotal role in the longevity of our Great Country.  What happened was this;  Benjamin Franklin, one of of the Founding Fathers of America was being harassed by telemarketers in 1766.  Now a telemarketer then was a different breed than what we have today.  First of all, they didn't have telephones.  Don Ameche hadn't invented it yet.  So the telemarketer in the 18th Century had to go from door to door in his effort to sell his wares.  Benjamin couldn't say no to any of these idiots.  They came by the dozens each week.  Why do you think he had so may Kites? 

So one day while Mr. Franklin was busy reading The Catcher In The Rye he had a brain storm. Why not invent an adhesive based clear or vinyl stock label that would warn the telemarketers to stay away from his home?  He first tried to take duct tape and print warnings on it but the rain, hail and wind quickly wore them out.   Then, while flying one of his many kites, he had another brain storm plus he got a horrific jolt from the lightning.  Upon leaving the hospital he decided to take a thin piece of glass and cut it into an 8.5 x 3 inch rectangle section.  He then cut another identical section of the same glass.  On an 8.5 x 3 inch piece of white poster board he printed the words, "NO SALESPERSONS MAY EVER KNOCK ON THIS DOOR!"   Then Benjamin placed the poster board sign face up on top of one of the pieces of glass and proceeded to place the other piece of glass on top of the poster board.  He binded all three layers together with a clear adhesive that he had invented some eleven years earlier.  There you have it, the beginning of the Weatherproof Warning Label.

Next time I want to discuss just why NASCAR uses so many decals.

okay thanks