The Flintstones might seem to be an awkward place to start looking at the history of the sticker but let's not be too hasty. Sure, the Flintstones is just a goofy, animated journey thru time but I want to see if there are any lessons to be learned from that journey. Do you remember when Barney Rubble wanted to send a message of some sort? He would get a large slab of rock and a hammer and chisel and begin to carve out the message. As a kid I always was fascinated with how fast he was able to chisel. But enough about my fascinations with how fast Barney was able to chisel.

Let's move on. Cartoon/Archeological experts have confirmed that if a town similar to Bedrock would have actually existed the year would have been in the neighborhood of 7012 B.C. Now is when the history of stickers and labels gets interesting. In 1846 two Australian archeologists set out for the middle east to discover what they could about ancient writings, hieroglyphics and stickers. Their names have been forgotten in history but for our present study let us refer to them as Curly and Moe.
After months of sailing and camel riding the two archeologists found themselves on a train just entering the ancient middle eastern country of Qatar. As Curly spotted the train station from the window he looked at the other archeologist and said, "Hey Moe - don't fret, I know how to play the Qatar". As Irony would have it the other archeologist proceeded to beat the crap out of Curly. Sometimes life just simply imitates art. My point here is not that you should watch more episodes of the Flintstones; on the contrary! My point is that I wish I had been alive in about 1934 so I could have met Curly Howard. Damn!

Nearly a year into the dig and about 16 feet below level ground the two men found hundreds of ancient tablets (the kind Barney chiseled) within about a 7 acre area. Unbelievable as it may seem all of the tablets said the same thing and all were leaning against ancient walls throughout those acres. Both men went to their graves not knowing what was written on the tablets. They weren't dead, they just visited the cemetery in Sydney where they had purchased plots in advance of their deaths.

Now we move up in history to the year 1911. Noted Archeologist Clive Edgarballs of Nova Scotia visited the Curly/Moe site in January of that year. All was still as they had left it some 65 years before. But Edgarballs noticed something odd. Out of over 700 tablets leaning on walls only one was stuck to a wall about five feet above the floor of the dig. Edgarballs pried the tablet from the wall and discovered a still sticky substance on the back of the tablet and on the wall itself. Flustered and confused, Edgarballs remained in Qatar for a year studying and studying this incredible substance. With no success, Edgarballs sent the tablet and the sticky substance to a laboratory in New Haven, Oregon for testing. He took the first train to Liverpool, England and Sailed for New York on the Titanic.

In 1965 a janitor at the New Haven Research and Development Laboratory found a wooden crate containing The Edgarballs find. The janitor's name was Shemp. He opened the crate and pulling out the contents began to read the ancient message in English: "See the Pyramids, Today Only! Only 3 shekels. Kids ride The Sphinx free!" Shemp was very excited and took the tablet and the sticky substance to the janitor's closet where his close friend and co-janitor Millard was resting. "Look at this Millard...........I know what the tablet says but I can't figure out what the hell this gooey stuff is". "Oh that", replied Millard. "What happened was about 9000 years ago an ancient Mesopotamian adman was chiseling out fliers for an upcoming festival. He was just finished with his last one when he put the tablet face down on the ground and went in the house for a smoke. During his break a Taradactile flew over about 30 feet above the tablet and took a dump. As providence would have it the dung fell directly onto the back of the tablet. The adman, finished with his Camel, saw the tablet and stood in amazement. He lifted the now 13 pound heavier tablet up and stuck it to a retaining wall and it stayed in place".
Thus: the birth of STICKERS!

We have seen just the beginnings of stickers and labels. I hope you will stay with us as we journey thru history and witness the marvelous improvements as they have unfolded for humanity.

About our previous installment Mr. Karnag Plague of Indianapolis, Maryland wrote: "I kaint git that song outta my head! I will never watch Barbara Streisand again. I don't care if she's neckid, upside down and reading my name as the 2005 Irish Sweepstakes winner. Stickers this, stickers that. We don't call em stickers here in Lexington. They're called labels. LABELS! git it; LABELS! And that Dinkle Bitch. I'll plug her ass so full of buckshot she'll hafta fill her armpits full a taradactile dung just to sit down! What ever happened to real gals?"

Well Mr. Plague doesn't seem to pull any punches does he. But I had fun with our second installment in the history of the sticker. Check for Volume three coming soon to this web site.

okay thanks