TOM PHANDERPHATZ'S RIGLEY'S MAYBE IT'S TRUE, MAYBE IT'S MADE UP!

1.  It is a well established fact that the common house fly has a memory span of only 12 seconds;  But did you know that a common Human Being has a much longer memory?
Maybe it's true, Maybe it's made up!

2.  How many of you knew that Benjamin Franklin once lit the filter end of a Newport Cigarette and smoked it half way down?
Maybe it's true, Maybe it's made up!

3.  How bout this one:  In China they have been re-running Bonanza for over 30 years but they renamed it "The Adventures of Hop Sing".
Maybe it's true, Maybe it's made up!

4.  Below is an actual photograph of an Ethiopian Camel Driver.  This photo has not been retouched, air blown or altered in any way.  The arid climate, along with a blazing Sun in that region of the World causes all Ethiopian Camel Drivers to take on this appearance.

       

 Maybe it's true, Maybe it's made up! 

(This portion of the StickerNewz has been sponsored by the Regus Sticker and Diet Pill Company of New Haven, Connecticut.  We're at regusstickdiet.com ).

 

That segment was weird.   But anyways,  StickerNewz has a history itself.  It is that history I want to review today.  Look back at Article One and.....(phone rings)

"Yeah Tom"
"Hey John Bouy how bout that segment?"
"Uh Huh Tommy it certainly was a.........uh.......a segment"
"I know!   Ya know that Ethiopian Camel thing?"
"Yeah".
"That was just some stupid Super Hero Cartoon Face!"
"No kiddin Tom"
"I know!...I don't know what an Ethiopian Camel Driver even looks like;  hell I don't even know if there's camels in Ethiopia.  I've never been to Montana".
"You've never been to Monta..."
"I know!  Plus I completely invented the title for the segment;   Rigley's Maybe It's True, Maybe It's Made Up.  RIGLEY!  What the hell is that?  I thought it was some sort of baseball park or something!   But I had absolutely no inspiration or help from anyone in creating that title.  I don't think a title like that has ever been thought of till me.   Sometimes it's as if my brain isn't even working;  the ideas just pop into my head"
"I think we can all agree on that Tommy"
"What?"
"Nothin.  I think we're having some connection problems on the phone here so we could be cut off at any mo"...(click).

Damn!   Anyways, back to Article One.  Remember our theme song?  And how Mrs. Ira Dinkle didn't know who Franz Schubert was?  Well,  even though I gave explicit instructions for all of you to memorize the song a Gallup Poll showed that only two people in the World memorized it!  There was, of course, Mrs. Dinkle and then Scrubs Martingimble who died. 

 Then we started, in earnest, to get into the history of the Sticker.  We brought in Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble, The Three Stooges and some legitimate Cartoon/Archeological Experts to locate the very first Sticker ever:  The Edgarballs Taradactile Dung Adhesive Sticker dating back to the Eighth Millennium B.C.  What an extraordinary find and what a heartbreaking situation for Shemp Diesel who made Eighteen bucks off the whole deal.  Since his breakdown at Bob's retirement home in Hoboken Diesel has gotten a position as a bagger at the IGA in Boise.  His hopes are to eventually move back to his cardboard box under the I-73 overpass outside of Sheboygan. 

Remember Karnag Plague of Indianapolis and his comments on the theme song?
"I kaint git that song outta my head!  I will never watch Barbara Streisand again.  I don't care if she's neckid, upside down and reading my name as the 2005 Irish Sweepstakes winner.   And that Dinkle Bitch.  I'll plug her ass so full of buckshot she'll hafta fill her armpits full a taradactile dung just to sit down! What ever happened to real gals?"

Then the Leonard Kasko incident and how Amy Hecklearnian did such an outstanding coverage of the whole event.   She was awarded the prestigious Sticker/Broadcasting Golden Decal for that story.  Then the Dung Sticker was stolen but then recovered in a Bizarre occurrence where Abel Wrendelfision and Endicot Sasperion, in typical Marx Brothers style, were caught with the goods and the Dung Sticker was returned safely to it's rightful location.

You know folks,  there's just too much to cover in one episode so I'll quit for now and, next time,  return right to where we left off.  So I bid you a fond:

okay thanks